I have heard in the program that if I am full of resentment, it’s time to look at myself. I became tired of feeling angry and victimized. I sat with my anger long enough to realize that it was grief. Grief feels like many life situations are happening at once, and I can’t catch my breath. In those moments, Al‑Anon helps me hang on. It makes me aware that I need to pause and spend time renewing my spiritual practices. In Al‑Anon, I have a Sponsor and others to help me find light in darkness.
Here are a few things I do when I am sitting in victimhood, martyrdom, or resentment: First, I make a daily gratitude list. Sometimes I stop everything and say out loud something I am grateful for, or I jot a few things down. Gratitude is an antidote to resentment, victimhood, and depression. Next, I turn to a Power greater than myself (Good Orderly Direction) by reading, meditating, journaling, and immersing myself in recovery. Sometimes, I pull out every program book I own or old journals from my decade in Al‑Anon and review them. Other times, I sit quietly until an insight comes across my soul. In these moments, I forgive myself and allow myself to heal and recover.
By Christina C.
The Forum, July 2026
Reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., Virginia Beach, Virginia, USA.