From as far back as I can remember, I lived with constant anxiety. As a person affected by the family disease of alcoholism, I worried about everything and lived in a constant state of fear. I chewed my fingernails. I had eczema. I had a bleeding stomach ulcer by the time I was in second grade. When I was 15 years old, I finally had a complete breakdown and ended up in a mental hospital for two months.
My life went out of control and eventually crashed. Through my therapist, I was led to Al‑Anon. When I walked into my first meeting, I knew that I was “home” with other people who understood and accepted me. I remember many times when members told me, “We will love you until you learn to love yourself.” I felt cradled in their love.
As I worked the Steps with a Sponsor, little by little I found my life beginning to turn around. I vividly remember the day I first felt serenity. I was standing in my living room all by myself, and a feeling of peace washed over me. Surprised, I said to myself, “This must be serenity!” I had never felt it before in my life. My very next thought was, “Now how do I keep this?!”
The feeling of serenity was all kinds of delicious! Like a beautiful sunset, the best dessert, a symphony, and the beach all rolled into one. Since that day, I have continued my journey in Al‑Anon and discovered that, in fact, I can continue to live every single day in serenity. It feels as if I have awakened from a long, dark confinement in a prison of fear and anxiety and emerged into a bright day of joy and light. Some days I am so happy and joyful, I feel like I could just pop!
I am so grateful for Al-Anon’s Steps, Traditions, and Concepts of Service, and for being part of the loving, compassionate, and wise family of Al‑Anon members. Through this journey, I have come to build my life on a whole new foundation of peace and serenity.
By Amy T., North Carolina
The Forum, May 2022
Reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., Virginia Beach, VA.