I have never been a drinker, but I have had to face the fact that I was powerless to stop my young son from drinking. What was it like for me to admit I was powerless over alcohol? It was sickening and terrifying. There was so much damage, and some continues today. I have had to learn how to live with the possibility that my worst fears might come true. I mean truly live, not just spend my time hunkered down in dread or trying to protect him. I love him, but I do not owe him the sacrifice of the rest of my life.
He is the only one who can decide to change his drinking, and my involvement in that distracts him from facing reality. I did feel I was to blame and that my inadequate parenting contributed to his drinking, but I could not control or cure it. However, he makes the decision every time he buys and drinks alcohol. Every time he deals with the results of drinking, it is up to him to decide how his priorities might change. Accepting my powerlessness was hard, but this is my reality as a parent. The wording of Step One, “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable,” encourages me and helps me to recognize that I am not the only one facing this situation and finding a way to live fully despite it.
By Anonymous
The Forum, October 2025
Reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al‑Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., Virginia Beach, Virginia, USA.