I came into Al‑Anon looking for answers, believing I needed to fix the alcoholic in my life. I expected to hear how to do that at an Al‑Anon meeting. Life was chaotic at the time, and I wanted a quick fix to my problems. I must admit that I got all the answers I ever wanted, but the answers were never given to me directly. No one told me what I should do or how I should do it. Instead, I listened to how others worked the Twelve Steps and used them to make changes in themselves, not the alcoholic. As they changed, so did the alcoholic’s reaction to them. At the end of each meeting, I heard “Keep Coming Back!” I began to do what I heard others sharing.
I learned to listen! I attended meetings. I asked someone to be my Sponsor. I began working the Twelve Steps with that Sponsor. I read my Conference Approved Literature (CAL) every day, which at that time was One Day at a Time in Al‑Anon (B-6) and Courage to Change (B-16). I started doing service work and became the Group Representative (GR) for my home group. I made a conscious effort to truly listen to others as they shared their experience, strength, and hope. I attended workshops. I found the God of my own understanding. It was a magical time in my life, and, amazingly, it continues to be that way after many years in the program.
The answers I was looking for years ago when I came in have been revealed to me, but new challenges keep arising, leading me to ask new and different questions. My life is still chaotic at times, which is why I “Keep Coming Back.” What began as search for answers and a quick fix has evolved into a journey of personal change for me, with the help of my Higher Power, and a program for living.
By Sue M.
The Forum, December 2025
Reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al‑Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., Virginia Beach, Virginia, USA.