When I first came to Al‑Anon, I felt damaged from years spent living with my alcoholic husband. I didn’t grow up in a family where alcohol was present. When I married my husband, I realized that he came from an alcoholic family, and I thought I would have to imitate my mother-in-law to make that dynamic work. After years of trying to control the alcoholic and being angry, disheartened, and guilty, I went to therapy. The therapist suggested I go to Al‑Anon, saying, “They can help you.”
When I went to my first meeting, I expected everyone to share how to make him stop drinking. Instead, I realized that the focus must be on me. I was the one who needed help. My own hurt could be healed.
I started using the slogan “Let Go and Let God.” As I released the anger my husband directed at me, I began to hurt less. I no longer took on his guilt, justification, or anger. I slowly started to heal. I became more focused on myself! I began to renew my relationship with God. I felt it was easier to let go of my guilt. My relationship with my family improved, and I became more involved in life. I felt more empowered.
By working the Steps, going to meetings, working with a Sponsor, and doing daily readings, the healing has begun. I read a saying once that resonated with me: “Healing doesn’t mean the damage never existed. It means the damage no longer controls our lives.” While I still rely on Al‑Anon meetings, my daily readings, and the support from my Sponsor, I have noticed that the damage that once controlled my life is no longer overwhelming.
By Anonymous
The Forum, November 2025
Reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al‑Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., Virginia Beach, Virginia, USA.