Growing up around alcoholism, I learned to read rooms and to take on others’ feelings and opinions. Drama and gossip felt comfortable. I have carried these character defects with me most of my life, passing on my judgments and negative behaviors to others. Three years ago, I started attending Al-Anon meetings and working the Steps with a Sponsor. I learned about my character defects of being defensive and prideful. Those defects caused me so much pain. I owe an amends to myself, to love myself. With the assistance of God and my Sponsor, my confidence has grown, lessening my character defects. If I’m not careful, I can slip back into my old ways by taking on others’ opinions. I can easily entertain irrational thoughts because it feels familiar, and my family is comfortable living in the drama.
Today, I have choices, and it is getting better. I might take the bait for a moment, then walk away with a closed mouth. I hope that as my confidence grows stronger, I will have the courage to verbally decline participating in the conversation. With Al-Anon, I have choices. I will gently remind myself that what someone else thinks of me is none of my business, and I can “Let Go and Let God.”
By Kimberly R.
The Forum, September 2025
Reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., Virginia Beach, Virginia,